I fight like a girl.
I don’t throw down in the bar to prove I’m tough.
I don’t bond with my buddies by throwing a few punches.
I don’t attack for fun.
I don’t get a black eye and say it’s fine.
My adrenaline doesn’t immediately spike so I can throw myself into battle.
I evolved to have a slower fuse, more built up over time, so I can grab the kids and run.
There’s no such thing as “just a beating,”
Because if you hit me, I will fall.
If you keep it up or just have one well placed, I will die.
There is no getting back up when you’re small.
You get one chance, one hit to take them out.
Because if they get theirs, there’s no bouncing back.
You say weapons are for the weak.
I’m not arguing.
I am compensating.
I am compensating for being a foot shorter and a hundred pounds lighter than most attackers.
I am compensating for having less upper arm strength than them.
I am compensating for when my attacker comes out of nowhere,
Because the attacker can pick his spot and surprise me.
You say wuss, coward, fight like a man.
I say I can’t.
I will fight with the weapons intelligence has given me.
Instead of what evolved on my form.
I do not give a shit about pride or proving I’m better.
I do not have that luxury.
Because if I’m attacked or my children are, I have one shot,
And it’s not with a fist.
Because that wouldn’t stop you.
I can’t throw down.
Training in martial arts only got me so far.
You say fight like a girl like it’s an insult.
I say bring it on.
And see who’s faster.
Your fists, or my gun.
Thank you for reading my impromptu poem. This has not come out of nowhere.
Last August, a friend of mine was attacked at a bar out of the blue by a man she didn’t know. The randomness and violence of the attack unfortunately did more than leave her shaken.
The man punched her a few times and threw her to the ground, damaging her spine. The attacker was pulled off by her friends after they recovered from the shock, and he ran. He was picked up later and arrested, but right now he is out on bail until his trial. My friend remembered him saying something along the lines of, “This is how you like it, right, bitch?” suggesting the guy thought she was someone else through his beer goggles and in the dark bar. I’m guessing an ex girlfriend.
None of us can figure out what he thinks he’s going to argue as a defense. There’s dozens of witnesses and his friends are the ones who turned him in. And he was there enough to know to run so arguing he was too drunk to be culpable (which is a very high level of drunk in all jurisdictions as far as I know) would be a hard sell. But we still have to wait for the trial to see how this turns out, which takes at least a year in most cities.
Over four months later, the doctors are still hopeful and her prognosis is good, they’re pretty sure most of the damage wasn’t permanent and she will walk again, though there is an area on one of her legs she will never feel again, and she will never get full functionality back, but she’s still in a wheelchair and doing physical therapy.
It looks like her fundraiser hasn’t picked up a lot, so if you would find it in your hearts, please share her page and her story and consider donating for this strong and beautiful woman to help with her hospital bills and physical therapy.
And if you know of anyone, or you yourself, are in a situation where the danger is more foreseeable. If there is a situation of domestic violence, a stalker, an angry ex who is threatening you, get help. These situations escalate. One punch followed by an “I’m sorry,” leads to more later. The person just showing up at your house leads to them jumping you outside it or even breaking in. Or they end up attacking a random person they think is you, because even though you left, you didn’t press charges and they were free to roam the streets.
If anything like this has happened, get out of the house and into a family member’s or a shelter, press charges, get a restraining order, and get protection. A restraining order is just a piece of paper, but it does help make your case that you were in fear for your life when you have to shoot the person in self defense.
Violence in the home is not normal, it is not something you just accept is part of your life, and it is something you have the power to stop. It’s something you should stop, because even if you can justify whatever they do to you, can you justify it when they do it to someone else? When they go after your children?
Does actual death or permanent injury happen “often” in the grand scheme of things in America? No, the percentage of people killed/permanently injured isn’t too high. Stats I read say about 4000 DV victims are killed a year in the US. Mostly the 10 million or so cases of domestic/intimate partner violence are “just” some punches, maybe a broken bone. But all it takes is one well placed hit to forever change your life.
Or end it.